This weeks recap is called ‘High Tide Housing’. I wish I could have called it other things, but I don’t title these ABP episodes. The mayor of Hoonah Island decides to pay a visit to Brownton Abbey. Knowing Billy’s kids love to clean up, fix, or make a mess of other residence junk, let’s see what they did tonight…
In every episode our lovely narrator has quite a time with voice overs. Tonight is no exception. ‘Building Brownton is priority number one, until an accident is waiting for them ahead.’ Nothing new here…
As the episode begins, Noah is at the dump trying to devise a new invention; bells for bringing the family to attention for various reasons. He feels it’s better than wasting ammunition to get everyone’s attention.
Gabe and Rainy are constructing signs on wood for their various ‘homes’ that will soon take over Brownton Abbey, trying to make it look like a scene from ‘MAS*H’…anyway. Bear’s tree house is now complete with a red car door for the entryway and Gabe is helping out with the finishing touches. Bear says he wants all these touches on it so that he can bring a ‘woman’ up anytime he wants. Gabe wants his own place too, so he can impress a girl anytime he wants. He wants to call it ‘My Bush Cabin’ because it was made in the Bush…original. As usual, both howl when it’s completed.
Now the narrator comes into play, and here we go about the hush hush news, that has to be stepped on gently. Believe me there are more issues regarding their guilt, but this is a ‘reality show…sort of.
‘For more than 30 years (here’s that number again) Billy and his family have received a dividend from the government of an oil share. The family was accused of living out of the state, but yet collecting the revenue. The family had no way to prove their innocence and now Billy and Bam struck a deal to save the family from serving time by taking a plea deal. Only Billy and Bam are serving their sentence. Billy is making the best of what’s left to work on his land.’ No comment…
The mayor of Hoonah comes to visit Billy. He likes the family, and believes they’re living their own way of life in the Bush. He offers them some of the ‘junk’ that is being washed up on the Island. He hopes they will find uses of the junk. He says, “residents of Hoonah have complained about the garbage and if all of you can use it, the mess may be cleaned up and they’ll be doing me a big favor.”
The early spring brings another tradition, the Browns bad luck. Billy fell and caught his foot in a hole, reinjuring his previously injured knee from 2012. After spending time with doctors and hospitals in Seattle (cough, cough) he doesn’t want to go. Billy can’t move his knee at all, so the boys and Ami wrap it up with moss & sticks. Billy says, “Just what I want to see is a doctor and ‘we have a lot to do'( Now when has Billy had a lot to do and has done it! There is always something that stops him from helping) With eight family members objecting to his refusal, they board the boat and head to a hospital. While on ‘The Integrity’ Billy tells Rainy , “I’m not going to be able to help with the beaches salvaging job (here we go), so I’m going to send you Rainy to keep up the morale in check.”
Back on the beach with the Mayor, the kids start the cleanup, but time is crucial because the tide will pull their work every six hours back to sea. They see a cabin that has been swaying with the tide for ages and has been eyed by Gabe. He would like to bring it back to Browntown and make it his home. Rain wants to do this for Gabe, she’s very emotional too. She says, “He always been positive for us, I want to do this for him”. Rah rah! Not all members of Brown Klan are positive. Bam is the voice of doom, “It’s not sturdy, it’s dangerous, and probably not survive the haul. It’s rotting and could fall down and kill us” They vote and he’s the lone outsider, but in Brown family tradition, he still works his butt off for Gabe.
Narrator: ‘After Billy’s nearly ‘debilitating deadly’ accident last season..(nearly debilitating deadly accident?! Not one doctor said on camera, nor in any hospital or dr office, said he nearly died! Come on!) Billy’s injury is a torn ACL, but they will give him a month to see if it heals. If it does not heal, he will need surgery.’ (Leave it there) Ami and Billy chase a boat ride back to Brownton Abbey. At this point Billy is really down. He has to use a crutch for a month and says to Ami, “I’m sitting around here just cleaning my gun! I can’t even go get groceries?!” When did Billy ever personally go to Hoonah and get groceries? Just asking. Ami, another voice of reason says, “Our hardships come and go and we have to be ready for the next one.”
Back in Hoonah the boys and girls find a lot of issues, but good things about the cabin too. They hope to raise the cabin up off the ground and when the tide comes in; they plan to float it to Brownton Abbey. As they try to raise it, the 7,000-pound cabin begins to shift and before someone gets killed; they are ready to quit. Bird reminds them that they are not quitters. Bam, voice for reason again for us normal people says, “The structure is unsound & dangerous, it’s not gonna work and the tide is coming in!” As usual Bam is out ranked by the rah, rah Rainy, non quitter ‘What would Dad say’ attitude. They agree to return tomorrow because the tide is coming in, and they must return to ‘The Integrity.’
The sun rises yet another day, the kids are still trying to raise this cabin…they’ve spent so much time on this shell of a rotted cabin, what else have they been doing as they promised the Mayor? Wait! The tide is low enough for them to slide a barge under the house. There is so much yelling back and forth with the boys and Rain, I can’t keep up with them. “Bear don’t ever get under a structure! It could kill you! “Let’s go home this isn’t working!” “We’re not quitters, we can do it!” Enough talking already!
As the tide rises, the barge seems to be sinking, but suddenly it starts to float, and they pull it over to the Integrity with the skiff. The barge makes it to the boat with Bam & Rain aboard. Bam is in a bad mood because he can’t face going to prison, but the usual ‘sweet like cotton candy’ Rain chimes in and says,image “The house is floating, it’s a beatiful day, we cleaned up the beach and got Gabe his own Bush cabin, we need to be thankful!” Oh good grief! When did we see them clean up the beach? We then see Gabe and Bear howling so loud it’s annoying.
They bring it back to Browntown Abbey. They pull it off the barge and Bear proceeds to bounce his body off the structure, ensuring Billy, in Bears way, that’s it’s sturdy. Billy sees it, and he actually likes it. He says, “That’s how you make it work in the bush, you stuck to the end of your goal and did it. We wanted to complete Brownton and we did it.”
To me this episode, as with the other episodes this season have been just looking at a wasted hour with more commercials than air time. The timing for everything when Billy is supposed to be involved is always compromised. He either hurts himself or has other reasons why he can’t help out. As usual Billy ends an episode with, “We did it.” He never comes up with any idea, just tells them there’s a job to do, and takes the credit. The narrator, which I knew would happen, didn’t give us the whole reason why Billy and Bam are serving ‘time’ only ‘they couldn’t prove their innocence’ of course not! I won’t get into that. Their ‘prison sentence’ as Bam says, is literally 30 days in the hole. It’s all over the news. If Discovery Channel wants to drag this out its up to them. I know it had to be addressed, and they’re lucky it’s not more than 30 days. As each episode is revealed, there are more holes open than closed, they repeat the same things each week….but I guess that’s why we are called Reality Tv Scandals.
Stay tuned to next weeks adventure with Brownton Abbey….