‘Surviving the lower 48’ Alaskan Bush People ‘Special Edition’

This week instead of moving forward, it appears fans will be taking a look back  with episode ‘Surviving the Lower 48’. I think the title should have been called ‘The Lower 48 Surviving the Wolf Pack.’ 

In this lost episode, to save the wolf pack from going stir crazy during ‘Billy syndrome’..I mean, medical treatment. The family heeds the call of the wild and goes on an adventure even further into the lower 48. As the narrator says, always wanting us to think we’re going to experience something intense says, ‘ Their face to face in a world never seen before…’ Come on…NEXT!

This episode starts off where last season ended. The summer of 2015 in Brownton Abbey, where everything falls apart. The bear, Billy’s ‘medical issues’, a basic mess. Footage I don’t seem to remember, Billy tells the family “We have to go to the lower 48 for…I’ve got to find out what’s happening…”

Narrator: ‘A Family who’s been in Alaska over 30 years!’ Bears says, “I can’t exist anywhere else…” Noah, “There are unknown variable..” STOP!! This is where I have to ask Discovery Channel a question. We know, and you know we know…Billy, Ami, and their children, have lived more outside of AK than inside, proven fact. So why in every single episode do you have to put in ‘Never been outside of AK for over 30 years!’ No need for answer now…later will do fine.

The Wolfpack finds themselves in Seattle, WA for two months. The doctors are addressing ‘Billy Syndrome’ and his ‘seizures’. Billy is doing his whining about taking too many meds and Bear says, “When you go outside there are too many people..” imageYou would think they are being held prisoners..

The family is in a motel with only two beds, which gives the lead to Billy saying, “Our family is about freedom..I’ve got to do something about this”. imageQuestion to Billy: You could have easily gone to Seattle with Ami, without the others. Matt is 32 years old and they could have easily cleaned up Brownton on their own..wait, I forgot, this is a reality, made up show, and there were ‘other’ reasons why they ‘had’ to be in Seattle.

Billy and Ami decide to visit a boat dock in Seattle. Billy says to Ami, “Everything we did started right here..” pointing to various boats. It seems that Billy purchased a boat back in the day with Ami, which started their adventure in, and out of the lower 48. He tells us and Ami about wanting to do a road trip to Southern California. They have a week before he has to show up for his ‘medical treatments’…(cough, cough) Ami, as usual says, “that’s a great idea”.

Billy shows up at the motel in an old RV, telling everyone, “Look guys…she’s 33 years old..We have one week to get back so we have to get going.” imageThe boys pack everything in the RV, and of course Bear wants to cruise on the top. Billy chuckles, and says, “This is a vehicle, you can’t lay on top of it?!” Bear howls, and Bam says, “Can you stop that before someone calls the police?!”

As the day becomes night time, Bear keeps putting his head out of the window sniffing the air, looking around, “This isn’t an ocean, but the buildings are cool.” The best one from Gabe, with a serious face, “So how long does traffic last?!” Please! Stop acting like we think you’ve never been away from the Bush in your entire live! It’s irritating!

Billy is driving and Bam is in the passenger side. He starts to smell something unusual. “Do you think the radiator is burning?” Billy says, “We better check it out.”image  They all pile out and there’s smoke coming out of engine, then a fire. Everyone scrambles and looks for a fire extinguisher. The fire is out and Matt decides to check out the problem. He exclaims, “It looks like we overheated..!” You think? They decided a small hole in the radiator caused the wires to start fire. The Wolfpack is stuck on the side of the road in the middle of the highway, no one knows what to do! Bear tries to cross over, with Billy grabbing his arm saying, “You can’t cross a major highway!” What shall we do?!

A stranger pulls over with a tow truck, and Billy says, “There are good people everywhere you go…” The camera decides to pan out to the  length of the tow truck and its blinking lights. Rainy says, along with the others, “Wow, ahhhh, I’ve never seen such a big thing, look at all those lights?!” You would think it’s a line out of ‘Jurassic Park’! Grrrr…..

The tow truck brings it to a mechanic and his junk yard. Billy asks the owner is he can stay overnight in the junk yard, of course he says yes. Bear is allowed to start a ‘camp fire’ and Matt finds skewers to hold hot dogs. The RV doesn’t have enough room for sleeping. Bam and Gabe sleep outside in a tent, Bear gets his night under the stars by sleeping on the roof of the RV. Matt finds a junk truck, which just so happens to be fine inside, and sleeps in it.

Next day, the RV is still not fixed. It seems the motor is frozen and is unable to be fixed for about a week. Never worry Wolfpack! The owner of the junk yard/mechanic has an RV he isn’t using, of course. He says he’ll barter with them for the boys help, and they can drop it off on their way back. A barter in Oregon! Mickey is the owners name, and he operates a scrap yard that needs work. It just so happens, that 4 of his workers, what a coincidence, called in sick! Mickey needs the boys to pick up the slack and asks them if they can operate machinery. Matt, the one who can do it all, says, “Sure we can!” imageThey need to break down metal, pick it up, get it out of the way. Bear, the voice of annoyance, says, “We’re smashing! Snap, crackle and pop! We’re just working as a Wolfpack in the lower 48 instead of the Bush!” Day ends and the boys moved 50 tons for their barter.

Back in their borrowed RV,image the family travels 500 miles to Costco, CA. Billy tells the boys what they’ll be doing today. “I’m going to show you an animal you’ve never hunted before, and it’s legal in CA to hunt for this..it’s a pig” The camera pans in to their innocent faces and Matt says, “You mean a boar?” Are you kidding? Please tell me you know what a pig is! Considering you know what bacon is, I’m assuming you know what a pig looks like! So Matt, Gabe, and Rain go pig hunting..

Matt says, “We’re hunting in CA like we’re on another planet..we have to find pigs!” Gabe sniffs the air and says, “I don’t know what a pig smells like..” Another statement made to look like the viewer is stupid to believe any of what they are saying! All three crouch down and put mud all over their faces, not sure why, pigs are scared off by movement. imageMatt sees a group of three pigs, boars and says, “I got it!” Pulls the trigger, wounds the animal, then shoots again for the kill. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one boy kill an animal outright! Not even closeup! They drag their kill to the RV, and everyone starts howling. When they started dragging the boar, they had no blood on them, they arrive it’s all over them, including their faces? I honestly feel like I’m watching a tribe welcoming a warrior with their ‘badge of honor’! Gross…They start skinning it immediately, and next thing you know, they’re back in the RV for San Diego?!

Question: Simple one. If you skin any animal, you better have a means of refrigeration! This RV couldn’t hold a refrigerator for any boar, cat or dog for that matter! These may be little things but I know being on the road for 4 days with a dead animal on board you just killed, can’t just hang out in the luggage area! Had to ask…

Right before getting to San Diego Bear is looking out the window and says, “I see a real life cactus!” Enough Bear! They all get out in a desert area and Bear wants to see a snake. That’s fine…considering this is the desert with ‘real life’ cactuses and all! Then Gabe and Bear do the usual, find a snake, begin to use a stick holding up the snake, and act like they’ve done this before. imageI’m sure they have…Then Gabe, who claims he’s never watched television before in the past, starts imitating  ‘Steve Irwins’ voice while following the snake. Never watched TV before, huh Gabe?! Stupid little things…

Finally, after the one week they had to get to CA and get back, seems to have turned into many days, but who’s counting. They make it to San Diego. Their faces are completely in the acting mode. Everyone has something to say, like, “Look sand!” “Look there’s the ocean, with surfers!” Then Bear ends it by howling, after saying, “This is awesome!” They do their usual frolicking on the beach and run in the water with all their clothes on. imageWhy didn’t they take them off?! Why is Noah in that constant long, heavy coat! Every second of the day, hot or cold! Just think of how you’re going to dry your clothes once they’re soaking wet! Forgot..this is a reality show!image

We’re done. The boar has instantly appeared, being barbecued by Matt. Billy says, “This isn’t home and we need to start heading back to where we belong…home”image

According to the beginning of the show, this was a lost episode, they should have left it as one. We know what Billy really had to do in Seattle, that doesn’t bother me, what bothered me most was their stupid acting. We’ve known for over a year, this family hasn’t stayed in one state for more than a year or two. Tonight was pure acting for the benefit of the Discovery Channel. They tried to show us what ‘Tarzan’ would look like walking and living in another part of the universe. The lower 48, to people who have lived in AK all their lives can be unique, but this family is not unique and has lived everywhere in the lower 48. The Discovery Channel tried to make us look like fools believing their production and the narration of this debacle tonight.