Normally, Reality TV Scandals does not recap episodes, we are making an exception for Alaskan Bush People and this is why..
Here we go..Endless Summer.
The narrator, who is annoying, starts off saying; “So, last season producers left the camera in Matt’s temporary stump hut… to get evidence”
To get evidence of what? This show is fake? Ah, never mind, we went over that already.. On to the episode.
The annoying narrator says the family will prepare this summer for the cold.. The narrator then says last season viewers saw the boys shoot a deer. We know that’s just bullshit and a flat out lie. The locals donated the deer both times.
The narrator then continues; “What they didn’t see is how the family kept the meat fresh for a couple weeks was build a couple bush freezers”
The narrator then insists the bush freezer, gave Bear, mentions his age, 28, to show off his skills.. Pardon me, but after all the backlash of how fake the show is with evidence provided; if this was truly done last season then they would’ve showed it. I want to remind you also, the scenes they are showing is how the cast look this season. So, let’s just stop the bullshit here, okay Park Slope Productions ?
Oops.. Just realized I w as watching the Endless Summer special. That’s okay however, the above needed to be said.
On to Season 3, Episode 1.
I love it. Bear insists a way to keep your gun working is to grease it, so what does Bear do? Grabs the pan Banquet Fried chicken and pretends to grease his gun.
For some reason Park Slope Productions decided to discuss how the season will progress instead of getting on with the episode. The dramatic music is killing me. Enough already.
The narrator hen repeats the [lie] “Deep in the Alaskan Bush” line. Seriously? Can we get on with the episode?
They show the Brown boys goofing off and then cut to Billy and Ami talking about how “pretty” their surroundings are. Billy says his legacy is his kids. Okay. Ami discusses how Bush life is tiring. I bet it is especially when you really never lived in the bush.
Our annoying narrator reminds us in the Summer it means more daylight.
We then see one of the Brown boys going back and forth to get water for their garden as Rain and Birdy eat plants.
We then see the Brown boys work on different projects they all have going on.. of course with dramatic music.
Bam is working on a trapper shack.
Bear is working on the tree house.
Matt is doing something with a torch. I don’t mean to sound rude at all here, but I re-winded the scene a few times and can’t make out what he said.
Billy Bryan Brown says this is the first summer on the land. (the land is owned by Discovery), and they are going to make use out of daylight. How many times have we heard this already and we not even 10 minutes in the episode? Why do the producers keep having this repeated?
Billy screams at Bam asking where the wood went he had stacked? Maybe a Bear stole it?
Billy then sits the family down and says they are out of wood and everyone knows that. Billy then proceeds to say “first thing we need to do is figure out how much would they are talking about” meaning how much they need. Rain says she and Birdy wants to be build a playground and later mention they are still sleeping on cots.
Noah says they need a workshop for a place to put their tools. Gabe raises his hand to speak, the camera then cuts to Ami Brown, Ami says they need a “butchering” station, then Noah mumbles something.. Someone then says; “an actual log cabin” the camera angles they show in this scene alone is making my head spin. There is only one reason why so many angles are shown. That is for frankenbyting. Rain says our room isn’t even finished were sleeping on cots. Rain is 12 and Birdy has to be at least 21 by now.. Sounds like Jana Duggar, age 26, sharing a room with her toddler sisters.. I digress. Then Matt mentions a summer house and Billy angrily looks at Matt and says they have enough work to go. Hey, a man can dream can’t he? Matt’s ultimate goal is to live in Hollywood in a one bedroom apartment.
We then cut to a commercial and when we return.. We are reminded again, the Brown family is preparing for the winter as Billy says; this is the first time in a long time they actually had a chance to prepare for winter. The family then picks a tree they are going to cut down and says they need to get in the water on the tides.
What if I don’t understand is; it appears to me that they are in front of their house, why do they have to take it on water?
If they are at a different scene then why did production’s annoying narrator point this out? Did I miss something? This makes no sense. Why do they need to have the tree on a boat?
Here comes the dramatic music again as they show the family clearing a way for the tree to fall.. Of course Billy dictates the whole time who does what without actual doing work. The dramatic music is killing me. Did I mention that? The narrator says in the past Billy always use the chain saw (I don’t believe that!) but the time has come for his sons to take the responsibility. This is ridiculous. Billy’s sons are adults. Ranging from age 23- to almost 40. You mean to tell me after living their lives wild and being raised wild this is the first time one of the boys cut down a tree? This should be second nature.
Oh here we go, the “boys” are arguing, it just seems so scripted and predictable. The boys are arguing over how they should cut the tree down..
The boys are now pulling the tree and Billy is shockingly doing physical labor?
Billy then tells the family it’s time to bring out Integrity. Integrity the boat that is. Billy then says they have to communicate. In a scripted scene, Matt says they can communicate by having a green and white flag and Billy says the idea sounds silly but might work.
Then we cut to a scene with Noah in a tent showing off his new head lamp
The narrator then says the next morning the family starts a 60 mild trip to the Excursion. More on this in a minute..
Ten minutes in the trip they the Browns problems already. Of course they do. This is a family that is pretending to live wild with producers who coordinate the problems. This time the problem is the control freak Billy Brown doesn’t had any control. Of the boat handle that is. At least it appears.
We return from commercial break and the narrator ONCE AGAIN tells the audience what is happening. This is annoying along with the dramatic music.
Bam and Bear starts bickering. Billy says the boys need to stop bickering and show some leadership for the family. Bam then yells at idiot Matt for dropping the nail in the water and hands him the last nail and says he can’t drop this one. As the two brothers bicker back and forth at each other Matt says;
“I don’t appreciate being condescended at“
Then we cut Matt Brown on the boat. Matt insists on showing viewers he has bush ingenuity. A clean shaven Matt says he ran out of out of shaving cream and rubs grease on his face to shave. This scene is so ridiculous I’m not even going to comment and the state the obvious.
Our annoying narrator starts talking and I am tuning him out as I try to tune out this damn dramatic music. This is annoying the hell out of me.
Production makes it seem like Billy all on his own finds someone to help move the logs. Is this the same tree they started out with? Billy then corrects Gabe for being Gabe because Billy is trying to show them how too put the tree on a ladder?
Billy then finds his wife, Amora Brown “Ami” in pain. As the dramatic music continues, Billy says he is freaked out because they live in the bush there is no hospital around. While I do feel sympathy for Ami being in pain, I am not sure if they are reenacting considering in 2008, a press release stated they would be. It appears Ami has pain in her neck. It could be a pinch nerve, and yes they are painful. Sometimes you have to wear a sling on your arm because of how your nerves and muscles are connected.
Ami says it feels like a vice is tightening. All of the Browns are upset. Billy wants Ami to go to the Dr. and Ami pretends like she doesn’t want to go. The narrator then says the family will be split up while Billy takes Ami to the Dr. Billy pleads with the boys to work together. Bam Bam Brown asks his father Billy Brown when will he hear him and Billy says; “when you hear from me”
The boys debate about going fishing as Billy, Noah, Rain and Merry Christmas Katherine Raindrop accompany their mother to the hospital.
These idiots being the Brown boys who want us to believe that they live their lives in the bush can’t even fish without fighting. You would think this would be second nature. The net becomes entangled in the motor. Idiots.
Miraculously, the same day, the narrator or states Ami, Billy and the kids made it 100 miles away to Juneau. Really? So in one day, it’s still daylight we traveled 160 miles. Interesting.
We then see the boys bicker more, they bring the land to the net and tada! The family that does not have a license to fish and who gave false statements catches salmon.
The annoying narrator tries to make viewers think Ami’s condition is life threatening. The Brown kids are way to dependent on their parents. While I know it’s upsetting anytime a parent is sick, hurt, in pain or have anything happen.. the dramatics here are ridiculous.
We then see the front of the hospital where Ami is allegedly at..
Not sure hospitals have beds with wooden headboards..
What I am sure is: The staff being such as a nurse or nursing assistant gives you your medicine and will stay there until you take it, especially when it’s pain medication or muscle relaxers. We see, Noah Brown, Ami’s son, giving his mother Ami, a muscle relaxer and pain medication. Noah says Ami had a bad night-it appears to be during the day at the time he is giving his mother the meds. While Noah gives his mother, Ami, the medication, Noah explains in his talking head, they are not sure how severe her injury is. See, this is bullshit. They, being the Doctors, would know what the injury is and certainly tell the family before prescribing Ami pain meds and/or muscle relaxers. The Browns, Park Slop[e] Productions and Discovery know what is allegedly is wrong with Ami but they are just playing this out. Just as they will with Billy Brown and his medical issue this season.
The last scene shows the Brown boys on the boat radioing their father Billy Brown.. Where Billy is radioing from? Who knows. Then we hear Billy tell the boys to go home. Matt asks if Ami’s injury is life threatening and shameful Billy says he does not know. Shame on you Billy Brown.
What did you think of the episode? Let us know in the comments. Thank you Crystal for your recap.
If you’re interested in recapping this season of Alaskan Bush People and possibly being paid (you would need to submit your recap the day after the episode airs) submit a sample of any episode “Staff” followed by the @ symbol and the name of this website. On the subject line, put “ABP Sample” (To avoid s p a m, the address was described that way).
For forum website members, stop copying and posting full posts. Thank you!
Reminder for comments: Do not boss people around and tell people to not watch the show if they don’t like it, you will be banned from commenting here. Also, do not tell us to get “lives” for daring to point out inconsistent; you should take your own advice.