Millionaire Matchmaker, Season 7, Episode 3.starts with the previews Bravo TV was promoting. Allyson Shapiro (“Ally Zarin”), daughter of fired cast member, Jill Zarin, of, The Real Housewives of New York, franchise. Here is Ally trying to give a.. confessional as her mother is talking over her..
Note: Sorry for any typos, post was done on my phone. I will fix them.
Ally in a confessional for whatever reason.. whatever..
This scene shows lights and tons of cameras–what a scene looks like when filming “Reality” TV. I really do not know what the point to this “confessional” is..? Considering Ally is not sending Patti Stanger a tape. I remember Patti pretending to watch submitted videos from Season 2 which happens to be the last time I watched this show. We all know whoever appears on MMM, they are casted–former cast members who appeared on the show said so, so there. Unless of course, Andy Cohen, tells Patti to pretend to “hook up” Rosie Pierri because he thinks Rosie is “good TV”.. whatever. . I am just annoyed already with this “confessional” we know the “men” won’t watch this video. Remember, Patti Stanger said she would never put a real client on the show.. Nice going “Auntie Pat” And there is… Jill Zarin.. Ugh! Jill will not shut the f— up. Jill tells Ally she wants to make sure Ally’s shirt is not wrinkled.. Shouldn’t you have made sure this was done before you left the house, Zarin? Finally, after several interruptions, Ally says in her “confessional” she has not been able to find love. Ally then says, it’s hard to find someone because she grew up on a “Reality” Show.. No comment. Jill Zarin tells Ally,
“Marry Someone Who You Wouldn’t Mind Being Divorced From”
The “Matchmaker” is asking Ally what kind of man HER MOM wants for her.. They get into the “must be jewish”.. As Patti is trying to talk to Ally–Jill Zarin will NOT shut the F— up again. This is annoying. Patti tells Zarin to zip it several times as Jill makes ugly faces. As Jill tells Patti what type of man she wants for Ally.. Not Ally telling Patti what kind of man SHE wants. Patti tells Zarin, “There is only one Bobby Zarin” that is true, who the hell would put up with an overbearing wife like Jill Zarin? Besides, this is what Ally is looking for, not what the red head Mother is looking for. It’s not even cute how Jill is an over bearing Mother–it’s annoying! Jill is the reason why this poor girl is single! This is NOT is not about Jill–Jill thinks this about Jill! Lynn Hudson is rolling over in her grave! (rip Lynn!) Note: Lynn is the reason for this recap.
Patti also says Ally is going by her Mother’s priorities–must be Jewish! Must be rich! Must be able to deal with Jill! Kidding on “must be able to deal with Jill”! On second thought–not really, whoever dates Ally better be able to tolerate Jill. I don’t see Ally growing a pair of balls and telling her mother–this is her life and this is not about Jill. I am reminded by the awful advice Jill gives Ally.. You see why, Jill’s book, Secrets from A Jewish Mother, was NOT a hit? Fricking Weirdo!
Finally after the Stanger kicks Jill out of this staged restaurant scene, Ally tells Patti she is insecure about her body. I feel bad for Ally. Patti tells Ally she has to love herself first–this is true. Patti then tells Ally she has a surprise for her tomorrow.
Next scene: Patti then tells.. whoever that kid is.. Her assistant?
Patti says she and Jill will interview the men and Ally will watch. The assistant suggests Patti take Jill out of the room–good idea. Patti then says, it wouldn’t matter, Jill would jump in no matter what. I call bullshit. We have all seen Patti be a bitch, she could shut Zarin down in a minute–Patti chooses to handle Jill with kid gloves.
Next Scene: They introduce..
The “Prince” says it’s hard to find someone because he is a “Prince”.. After the “Princes” fake talking head he is shown talking to Patti Stanger.. Patti asks if he is really a Prince and how he is a “Prince” . The “Prince” says, Oh yeah.. His dad was adopted and now he is a prince and now he is married to Zsa Zaa Gabor.. (Is Zsa Zsa still alive?) And Patti says, “oh so it’s an adopted thing” LOL!
The “Prince’s” Father is adopted and married Zsa Zsa Gabor
Then Patti asks how he makes money and he says he is an attorney, Patti is impressed because he has a real job and not living off a trust fund. Then Patti asks what the hell is wearing.. As the “Prince” stars to explain, Patti asks the “Prince” if he dresses like this when he goes on dates, the “Prince” explains, he wants to show what he has and wants to show his “Prince Stuff” LOL! Oh my goodness, this is so ridiculous. Then Patti asks when was the last time he had a girlfriend and he said his last serious relationship was three years ago.. As the two assistants look on and laugh, Patti asks the “Prince” why he is there and she wants from her.. Timeout: See Patti, if it weren’t for goof balls like this showing up, you wouldn’t have a show. Then Patti says; “This determines your fate, “Tits, Ass, Leg” the “Prince” answers, ‘Tits” with a grin. Then Patti says, “so you are straight”.. Then Patti asks the “Prince” who his celeb crush is and the “Prince” answers, “Coco Austin” Patti pretends to not know who Cocoa is and the assistant laughs and says, “It’s Ice T’s Wife”. Patti says, “but she has a butt the size of this room” and the “Prince” says, “yeah, but she has nice breasts” and Patti says, “yeah, but they are fake” *Shade* WTF did Coco ever do to Patti Stanger?
Patti then says in her talking head that American Girls won’t get the “Prince Thing” and he is a cartoon out of a comic book. She also says he seems like he is gay but he is European.
As they are talking, the “Prince” says girls just like him for his “Royalness” and Patti suggests he shouldn’t wear that.. LOL! Wearing that means his “Prince” attire or Pink Pants.. I agree. And Patti throws shade again at Coco Austin when the “Prince” says his goal is to find a normal girl, Patti says, “Coco is not normal”! Hey dumbass, Patti, the”Prince” said Coco was his celeb crush because YOU ASKED! Then Patti tell the “Prince he is going to lose his “Royalty” for a week along with the pink pants.. Patti says the “Prince” must become and “Ice Tea” to get the “Coco”. Patti says the “Princes” name will be “Max” at the mixer and from New Jersey. Then Patti asks the “Prince” why she should fix him up and the “Prince” makes Patti’s ego bigger than it is and tells her she is the best.
Next Scene: I am reminded this episode was filmed in California. Patti is talking with her staff and agrees she and Ally’s overbearing mother Jill Zarin will meet the men and Ally watch from on a screen.. WTF? How is old is Ally? 12 or 22,23 or 24? Then Patti says it wouldn’t matter, Jill Zarin would make sure she was there any way she would.
Next Scene: Ally talks with Kristen Cavallarri, “Reality Star” Kristen tells Ally she needs to work on her confidence and it’s not about if the guys like her–it’s if she likes them.. That was Ally’s “surprise” by the way.
Patti is in a talking head, Patti says Jill wants a Gazillionaire… For Ally..
Patti is coaching Ally because Ally will be watching her MOTHER and PATTI talk to her potential date.. Yawn. Jill is being annoying. Patti tells Ally she and her overbearing Mother will interview the men first and Ally says in her talking head she is worried what the men will think of her MOM! LOL I don’t blame you kid!
Patti and Jill walk in to meet the the MEN. Jill says in her talking head, “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about to.. (something) meeting 15 boys” Jill, your daughter is in her 20’s, she is NOT looking for a BOY, it’s ridiculous that Ally is not talking to them first. Now Patti and Jill are grilling the men. One man says in a talking head this is weird, he is not here to date Jill Zarin.
— We Don’t Blame You! Poor Guy!
Ally is watching. Patti then asks Ally to choose her master date.. Um.. Ally did not get to actually talk to them. This is bad matchmaking all the way around.. Of course they stall to see who Ally picks. WTF? Can Ally do anything for herself? I know this is on TV.. but still..
Next Scene: We are reminded what a bitch Patti is (Patti needs to be to a bitch like this to Zarin! ) when she interviews the women for the “blind date” telling one she is too old.. Why the hell did you ask her to come then, Patti? Patti is a bitch to the one girl when she answers the question, Patti tells the girl has the worst “f–ing” attitude–Patti’s words, not mine. The jokes write themselves. Patti then chooses the cast to pretend to be contestants for the blind date.
Patti then introduces the “Prince” as a lawyer from New Jersey. Mind you, this “Prince” has a heavy accent.
The “Prince” makes all of the ladies stand up as he grabs their hands and twirls them so he can see their bodies. Wow. This is a train wreck.
Next scene: Ally waits for her date at the Wildlife Learning Center. Ally’s date, James, pretends he is nervous about the blind date. Dude. You can’t pretend like you did not know who would be going on a date with, poor Ally has to grab his arm.
A scene shows Ally her date petting a sloth–gross. As the date progresses, Ally answers a question by stating the answer, “I am really glad I followed Kristen’s advice to go with my gut, because I am really having a good time”
The next scene shows the “Prince” and his date. Remember, his date does NOT know he is a “Prince”,the “prince” hopes she is happy that he is a ‘Prince” They show his date waiting on the beach and the “Prince” emerges out of the f–ing water.. I kid you not! Champagne with two glasses and a pink flipping speedo! The “prince” is shown walking up to his date in a beach in flaming pink Speedo. The “Prince” is asked if he works out while looking at his belly. I almost spit out my drink! The Prince’s date tries to show him yoga and the “Prince” looks like he is to fall over. Bless him.
The “Prince” does some push ups to show his date how manly he is.
Next scene: Ally and James. The overall date goes okay. They talk and Ally can’t shut the f—k up about her mother.
To make matters worse, when they do a shot, Ally says her mother would be proud.
James tells Ally she needs to separate from her mother–we agree. . The two then are shown in another scene and Ally talks to the camera with James sitting there explaining the date then.. We are reminded this is “Reality” staged TV. A producer comes over and gives Ally the phone and says her mother is on the phone. Re Watch the first scene with volume down.
Oh wow, this is going good Ally, I sure hope your date was in on this because this producers are pricks for giving you that phone.
Ally tells her mother the date was easy and fast and her date looks thrilled! The end of show notes Ally and James stay in touch.
Next scene: The Prince says, “My surprise to you, my beautiful yacht” translation:
He takes his date on a yacht.
In the talking head the Prince says, “I am a real Prince, hopefully she will be surprised and go, “Oh wow”
The “Prince” asks his date to give him 30 seconds because he has a surprise. In the talking head, the date says; “I hear all this Jingling, and I am thinking, I hope he is not going to have on another pink Speedo” The Prince then puts on these medals and says “surprise, I am a liar, I am a Prince, I am Prince Ferdinad from Germany”
LOL then as he pointing to his medals his jacket..
The “Prince” wears these medals as a Soldier would in the Army or Marine Corps would EARN. The Prince’s date points out the medals were not earned, they were passed down. I bet the Prince wonders why no one including his fake date is not impressed that he is a “Prince”. The “Prince” says he is upset his date, Emily, (her name is her name by the way!) was not impressed he is a Prince in his talking head but he is okay with it. Prince Ferdindad expected Emily to be over the top excited.
The footage of “Prince” Ferdindad and Emily ends them in water. Emily says she doesn’t kiss on the first date (I laugh!) which is most likely a voice over because the out of shape “Prince” Ferdindad looks like he needs a life jacket, he is barely treading water as he is trying to breathe.
Good thing there was a camera crew because it looked like he was going to drown and the “Prince’s” date might had to give him mouth to mouth.